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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26317300">Maybe you were the ocean when I was just a stone</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/xXxCrimsonDreamsxXx/pseuds/xXxCrimsonDreamsxXx'>xXxCrimsonDreamsxXx</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Yu-Gi-Oh! VRAINS</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Character Study, Crying for love, Declarations Of Love, Falling In Love, Ficlet, First Love, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Light Angst, Long-Distance Friendship, Love Confessions, M/M, Not Canon Compliant, Oneshot, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love, i guess?</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 11:27:10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,450</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26317300</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/xXxCrimsonDreamsxXx/pseuds/xXxCrimsonDreamsxXx</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"Suffering for love is stupid"</p>
<p>Yusaku never touched anything related to love. He didn't know what it meant to feel it to a large extent, he couldn't tell when he was feeling it, when he was so close to that love that everyone was looking to feel, and at the same time they suffered so much for it. He couldn't found a reason, it wasn't on his list of things he should pay attention to.</p>
<p>Yusaku would never believe that he would actually cry for love.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Fujiki Yuusaku &amp; Homura Takeru, Fujiki Yuusaku/Homura Takeru, Homura Takeru &amp; Kamishirakawa Kiku, Homura Takeru/Kamishirakawa Kiku</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Maybe you were the ocean when I was just a stone</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I was in the mood, okay? This was actually going to be a YusaRyo fic.</p>
<p>By the way, the title is based on the song "Black Flies" by Ben Howard.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Suffering for love is stupid"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Yusaku uttered those words without giving much worth to the conversation, he barely deeply analyzed the situation to just say that. However, Takeru chuckled and before Ai threw a tantrum at his origin, they began to talk about something else far away from that matter.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Yusaku never touched anything related to love. He didn't know what it meant to feel it to a large extent, he couldn't tell when he was feeling it, when he was so close to that love that everyone was looking to feel, and at the same time they suffered so much for it. He couldn't found a reason, it wasn't on his list of things he should pay attention to.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He didn't even know if anyone would love him or if he would love to that extent. Why did people treat this matter of love as if it were life and death? There were other things to focus on, for which to suffer and cry.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Not loving and not being loved was no big deal. It was easy to beat.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>~°~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>How many sighs had he already let out? Four months passed since Takeru returned to his town, it was a short, casual farewell, Ai shed tears as if he were never coming back, but they were only a few train stations away. Takeru could come back, yet he had no reason to.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He felt a knot in his throat every time those words repeated in his mind, that one knot that took away his sense of emptiness, because that's how he began to feel since he stopped hearing Takeru's voice in person, seeing his face, or receiving his greeting every morning.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Why was it as if he missed him so much? If they spoke by text and calls, they were constantly catching up on what they were doing or how they were doing. Nothing had changed except for the distance.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>... and the pain in his heart.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The pressure on his chest got worse, he needed Takeru's presence, his voice, every minute. Reading a message from him gave him a little smile that even Ai would come to notice and point out. In fact, he wouldn't have known he smiled so much if it wasn't for his Ignis that reminded him that all the time.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It was a nice feeling this friendship he had with Takeru, he didn't know it was going to get that deep. But, it felt right.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Except for one detail that seemed minor, part of his imagination, and actually, it was so big that it wouldn't let him sleep or think properly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He'd go to sleep thinking about Takeru, dreaming about Takeru, waking up thinking about Takeru. It might be good that nightmares were part of the past and Takeru has replaced the horrible sensations of trauma, although insomnia sometimes remained, because he simply could not understand this strong feeling.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Why couldn't he stop thinking about Takeru?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Yusaku was thinking so much about him that it became unbearable. Anxiety was alleviated by a message from him or a call, there was no other distraction that made him unable to think of him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He would sit for hours, watching his lap as he held his head and begged for the boy to get out of his mind.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Yusaku wanted to be with him. He needed to be with him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He wanted him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He loved him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Was this love?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kusanagi said yes.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>So, what?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>What would happen if Takeru found out?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It wasn't like they were both good at this kind of stuff, not even their friendship was declared. There was a time when Takeru called him 'friend' and that's it. It was such a wonderful, unique relationship that it made him feel so alive.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And losing this because of something like that, which could be a mistake, romanticizing something so simple. He was terrified. How could he be terrified of saying something like 'I like you', 'you're the best thing that's happened to me these years', 'I'm so happy with you'?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Not only did it sound cheesy, he was afraid to make a fool of himself. The idea of feeling something that for Takeru was an exaggeration made Yusaku anxious.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It was incredible that he was so agitated because of...</p>
<p> </p>
<p>... Love.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It was so stupid.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>~°~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>One night of vulnerability, he picked up his phone and stared at Takeru's number. Yusaku could call him or text him, risk waking him up, or possibly read it later when his courage is gone.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He could write him all that he couldn't say. What exactly was it?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It could be summed up in two words.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>I like you</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>I love you</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>But those two options had a different weight. Did he love Takeru enough to say it without regret? Did Yusaku really love him?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He felt like writing it, his hands trembled like his lips. What if he <em>accidentally</em> sent it? His thumb was about to do so, to send a confession that could change the course of his relationship with Takeru.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>There was a serious chance that everything would decay, and he'd be left alone again. Was that his fear? Be left alone?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It seemed like a pretty selfish reason.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Yusaku hadn't realized he sent it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>So he deleted it, before anyone but him witnessed his repressed emotions.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>~°~</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Time accumulated his frustration at remaining silent. Takeru had accustomed him not to shut up as much as he used to, he knew that with him he could open up in the best way he could.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Yusaku was sick of hiding in the remorse of something that hasn't happened yet, in wondering what would happen. He was always a person who didn't go around on the same irrelevant subject.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>This kind of thing has never been of such high relevance, so he didn't have to feel so stressed. He just didn't have to confess the truth to Takeru by text.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He needed to see his face and hear his voice when he answered to it, so he went to take the train to go to his town. A surprise visit, just because turning on his phone to talk to him or receiving his texts caused him more anxiety than the idea of confessing his feelings.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He had the address of Takeru's house, because they mailed some stuff before, also Takeru had the illusion that Yusaku would visit him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>That day was today.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It was the day he stepped on Takeru's town, the place that kept Takeru away from him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Looking for that person he longed to see, it had taken a while to find him, it happened as if the stage was ready for his arrival. In front of his eyes was Takeru, a more well-looked appearance and an ear-to-ear smile.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Takeru was smiling, and his smile looked so beautiful.</p>
<p>           </p>
<p>Of course Takeru was smiling at someone else. He was holding someone else's hands, and was kissing someone else's lips.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It was a girl, pretty, braided hair and neat, wearing a flower dress.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kiku. Yusaku remembered that name. Takeru mentioned her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>His childhood friend, who knew him better than anyone else, who spent more time with him, who could hug him, talk to him and make him smile like he was doing now. Kiku could receive his kisses, his warmth.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Yusaku couldn't. They were friends, maybe they barely grazed that word, it wasn't as if it was worth giving more depth to their relationship.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>After all, the only thing that connected him to Takeru was a common cause that has already been resolved. Their lives were resolved, their conversations were occasional.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Why did Yusaku imagine a future with Takeru? Why had his emotions gone so far all these months to think it was unfair for Takeru to have a girlfriend?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Takeru never said he had a girlfriend.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Why? Why did it hurt so much? It was normal. Takeru was a person, he could fall in love, get married, have friends, talk to whoever he wanted whenever he wanted. Why did it hurt?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Maybe because he couldn't do the same. He spent four months thinking about Takeru, who could divide his attention into several people and things at once. He had a family to think about, a girlfriend, more friends maybe.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>What right did he have to appear right now and put him in an awkward situation? It was selfish to feel bad about something he couldn't do and was normal for anyone. He hated this sense of frustration, as if something that never belonged to him had been taken from him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Still, tears began to fall from his eyes inevitably.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It was stupid to cry for love, and yet Yusaku was doing it.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I don't know why I keep thinking about Yusaku hating Takeru and Kiku's relationship whenever I write TakeYusa + jealousy.</p>
<p>This is the best thing I could come up with, oops.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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